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Originally Posted by SchmennaLeigh
I am aware it happens to aparents as well. It happened to my daughter's family. However, to justify it by saying "it's human" seems to belittle everyone's experiences, doesn't it? Shouldn't we be pushing for a more "human" way to treat individuals?
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Jenna, I think you've greatly raised awareness on these boards.
You are obviously an activist in the field and are quite effective in asserting your opinions.
I am not generalizing. Change takes time. And it also takes individuals like you who are very hard charging and persistent.
And, I'm not justifying or belittling. Humans were born with flaws, that is a simple fact. Most of us try and overcome those flaws but some don't. We cannot control who chooses to change or not. We can inform and educate, but we cannot control another human being's actions.
Watch Dateline tonight about the woman who scammed at least 7 families (and lived quite well on the proceeds) through parentprofiles.com and you will see that on the adoptive parents' side, there are many predatory things happening as well. Facilitators, agencies, attorneys and individuals who are not above board.
In my waiting parents group alone, there are three couples who were totally taken advantage of by other agencies and switched to the agency we are using because they are ethical on all sides of the triad as well as honest and effective.
Because of our family's income, we have to use our agency to screen vs. meeting directly w/expecting women. That is a disappointment to me because I did not want to use an intermediary to interface at the onset of a relationship with the possible mom. And BTW, our income has not resulted in us adopting quickly or having an "edge" in any way. We've been waiting longer than many people here on the boards. Our income is not a factor with the exception that we can more easily be targeted and scammed.
This situation is hard on all involved. It is never easy. I hope someday it will be. I wrote this note to counter the generalizations made that adoption is a horrible option for children. Having worked w/kids in foster care, in homeless shelters, and kids at-risk, for 19 years now, I can tell you the other side of the equation. Working with an orphanage overseas, as my DH and I have done to help meet their needs, as the kids are "unadoptable" and stuck there until they turn 18, we also know the alternative to adoption is a scary and tragic thing for kids.