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Hi! I have not read the entire thread, just the first and last pages. I just wanted to give my perspective. Hubby and I and our bio son are white. We are in the process of adopting biracial triplets (birth mother white, birth father black). They are four months old, all boys (two identical, one fraternal), and we have had them from the day they were born. They are breastfed exclusively, just as my bio son was, and are pure delights.
We chose them after almost two years of searching for the right agency, the right country, the right child. One of biggest concerns when we started our adoption journey was how, in all the world, could we find the child or children meant to be ours? Our prayers for those years were that God would lead us to the children whose mother I was meant to be, whose father my husband was meant to be. I had faith that He would, in the right time and place. Our church has a very good adoption program that is quite inexpensive, and a lot of our friends, knowing that a Staff Seargent in the Air Force and a SAHM aren't wealthy wondered why we didn't just go the affordable route. The answer was that we weren't looking for any child; we were looking for our child.
No matter what options we explored, nothing seemed quite right. Until I got a call from the birth mother, a relative, who was beside herself because she had just found out she was pregnant with triplets, who she could not possibly care for. I knew instantly that these were our babies. My husband felt the same. We didn't know for several weeks that the birth father was black. It didn't matter. It made no difference to our feelings for them or our joy at adoption.
When I look at my four sons together, one with pink skin, blond hair, and amazing blue eyes, and three with rich brown skin, dark hair, and the deepest, warmest brown eyes I've ever seen, I marvel at the beauty of each of them, and the incredible gift God has given us.
We have had one nasty experience with racism; both hubby and I put the horrid, hate-filled man in his place. Our family is a unit that trancends race. The heritage of each of our children is special, and a unique part of their stories, but the group that I hope each family member will associate themselves with the most is our family.
In my opinion, wanting to save someone, or a group of people is not a good enough reason to adopt. It is a wonderful reason to donate time, money, and prayers. To be a mentor, start a program, or find a career dedicated to helping others adopt. But no one should enter their family as a service project.
I do know a black woman who is in the process of adopting a white toddler. She has been his foster mother his whole life and can't imagine losing him. She adores him, just as I adore my angels. I firmly believe that we all enter the world and our families in the time and manner God intends. If I have more children, I have no idea where they will come from, but we will be family, just the same.
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