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Our son, adopted from Ethiopia, has been home 1.5 years now. Our bio children, now 5 and 4, have never questioned his position in our family--that's the beauty of youth--they haven't had time to hear anything that would make them question that he is part of the family. I explained that he grew in another woman's tummy, but she could not take care of him, so I am his Mommy now, and they are his sisters now. They asked why she couldn't take care of him and I told them I didn't know, but that loved him very much, and I am sure still loves him very much, but would also be happy to know he has such wonderful sisters and parents. And that was pretty much the end of it. They've asked other questoins, as time has gone by, and of course both they and he will have increasingly complex questions, but as far as them accepting that he is their brother? Not a problem in the least. He IS their brother and they question it no more than they would if I had another bio child.
We had been living in a very white community (still are, but a bit less so where we are now). I have had absolutely no negative feedback. If anyone is thinking it, they aren't saying it. Only lots of positive comments. I'm not naiive enough to think no one is thinking negative things, and there have been times when I've thought to myself sure that woman is asking little Jenny to come say hello to our son, but would she let her date him in 12 years? But as I said, we have received only positive comments from people we know and strangers alike.
Also, something I found was that there are more families made up similarly than I had ever realized--it wasn't til I had an adopted son of another race that I kept noticing it.
Good luck with your decision.
Teranga
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