[love4]

I wish I could turn back the time for my daughter's birthmom but I can't. I wish she never HAD to place her daughter.......but she did. I made a full loving commitment to be my daughter's mom. My daughter's birthmom reunited with my daughter and now their is a sharing of my daughter. I am no longer the ONLY mom. That is very hard for me. It is better now because I have accepted what I cannot change but in the beginning it was a very, very hard road for me. I am glad the two of them have been able to heal some of their pain and I am thankful to be able to see her birthmom and I really like her but it has been a painful invasion of my life. A fearful invasion. My daughter moved in with her birthmom and had no consideration for us. Yes, she had a lot to settle in her mind but a lot of people were hurt. My feelings were not considered and actually my daughter was angry at my feelings. Her birthmom is back in her life really being a mom to her and that is hard to deal with. My daughter doesn't have children but if she did, I would REALLY struggle with that. Am I selfish???? Maybe but those are the feelings I struggle with. I have been very supportive and loving with my daughter and her birthmom. But I still struggle with many emotions. It just doesn't seem fair. Nothing I can really do about though. I understand the needs of my daughter and her birthmom. I truly do but it doesn't erase the invasion I feel. Something I still work on. It hurts to know the reunion will go on no matter what I struggle with and that makes me feel very small sometimes. No matter how I feel, I love my daughter, I appreciate her birthmom and we get along great. Someday there will be peace for all of us.