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As I read these threads, it seems not uncommon for one side or the other to walk away from an open or semi-open adoption. (I have no clue what the percentage is.) I guess I can understand that, as so often happens in our lives, reality is so often different from our expectations. I can imagine birth parents who find even letters feel like ripping open a wound and decide that they'll reacover best by "putting it behind them." As a bmom from the closed adoption era, I honestly don't know if I could have watched someone else raise "my child" in an open adoption. I would however have loved to know if he was ok and how he was doing. (I know, I'm NOT consistent.)
I also think it's possible that some adoptive parents really don't want to focus on their child's adoption. Again, I can imagine some people feeling like the bparents are interrupting their family life. I would think that I would want to maintain contact however, because there are always issues (health or otherwise) that may come up.
All that said, I agree with everyone who talked about integrity, and keeping promises. (Remembering that we live in a society where "until death parts us" is often interrupted as "until we fall out of love." Commitment often has little meaning for us.)
My thoughts and prayers are with those of you who are caught in this situation. I wish I had an answer!
Blessings,
Kathy
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