My daughter, M was placed in a closed adoption thirty-five years ago and found me two years ago. At that time she told me that her mom (amom) was upset over her search and that they had gone to counceling to deal with it and things were better. However things were not enough beter for me to visit their town so My daugher traveled to my town to meet me. I wanted to write to M's mom but M discouraged me from doing that. Mom sent a lovely scrap-book to me about M's life. In my thank-you note I did tell her that I could tell that I could see that M had had the kind of life that I hoped she would have and that I that I could tell that M still has a good life today because of her and M's husband. Is there anything more I can do?
I don't want her to feel threatened. I have great respect for this lady and have only heard good things about her. I do however want ro see M and my grandchildren again. If her mom is ever willing I would love to meet her but I don't want to push myself on her. I just want her to quit worring.
Another question. While I will never be my daughter's "mom" do you think it is threatening that I want to be a grandmother to the babies? I think this is something we can share. My daughter never mentioned that it may be a problem. My therapist thinks it is fair but I recently spoke to my pastor and he said it was threatening -that I gave up my right to be their grandmother when I gave M up.
While I don't hear much from M at the moment she does send pictures of the babies every few months. I send cards and gifts and just sign my first name. I have met the oldest. (M was pregnant with the youngest when we met.) I live in another state and they are in the same town. What do you think?
I would appreciate any input.
