[mom2GRLC]

I think the child has a right to know at some point in time when the child is older and the relationship has already been established. But it should be made clear that the love for the child was above all the pain suffered and that the childs relationship with his/her adoptive family should be honored and respected. The child should not be made to feel like all his/her life was based on a lie or mistake. Hopefully as the years past and time was able to heal some wounds and hurt the birthmom would be able to share her feelings in honesty but without casting blame or a heavy burden on the child or adoptive family.

I also would feel that if the birthmom was having a really hard time with that and she was obviously displaying those feelings to the child and family after she placed that she be willing to at least open up and talk with the family about her feelings...sometimes just talking about it and knowing what the birthmom is feeling will definately help....I would have rather known the truth from the begining about exactly what she was feeling then have months or years go by thinking and fearign the worse yet her refusign to talk about it. Because in my situation....it actually brought me comfort to know that my thoughts were correct...that I was reading her right and when we did talk openly about it....I was completely able to understand why she felt that way and validate her feelings and show her that even knowing all that...I could still be her friend, i could still care about her deeply...infact her opening up about it...and putting into words what she was upset about....made alllll the difference in the world in our relationship.