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Old 08-16-2006, 12:45 PM
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Birth4Mom3 Birth4Mom3 is offline
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Well, as far as the 2nd baby for you goes, I was delighted that the adoptive parents we chose already had a child, so my little one would have a big sister.

My first post-adoption baby was born 2.5 years after my adopted baby. The keeping part didn't scare me as I had a child who was 4.5 already when my little one was adopted...

The baby born after the adoption WAS a girl - like my adopted baby though - and I had a terrible time bonding with her both during and after the pregnancy. We still have issues today and she is 9 - but I think some of that could be the typical mother-daughter headbutting.

I just had another baby - a boy - who is 8 mos now, and I still catch myself staring at him in wonder and thinking of all I missed with my little girl who was adopted.

There is definitely difficulty there - every 'first' reminds me of what I missed. There's joy in it all, don't get me wrong - but underneath that is a sort of grief that I don't even know how to describe.
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Birth Mother from Texas (6-29-1994), Married to a Reunited Adoptee and Birth Father from New York,
SIL to a 1/2 Reunited Adoptee, DIL to two wonderful A-Parents, Niece to Korean Adoptee
and Mom to 3, ages 17B, 9G, and <1 yr B
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