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My story is a little different. Our son came home to us last year at nearly 11 months in mid April after being with a wonderful foster family from shortly after his birth. He bonded with my husband right away but with me he took much longer. I am a SAHM and have been since his arrival. But even though I was taking care of him constantly and taking naps with him, being the only one to feed him, being the only one to change his diapers, keeping a set schedule for him, and much more. It wasn't until he got a case of the chicken pox from the vaccine that he had in late June that he finally bonded with me.
Our agency said that the bond with the foster mother had to be broken first before the bond with me could happen. It just took some time with him but in the meantime seeing Ryan prefer my husband hurt me but I could understand it from Ryan's point of view.
With our daughter's arrival this year, she was about 8 months old and was hospitalized for nearly 2 months for various things. We had little problem with her bonding with me. Like our son, she bonded with my husband right away but took a little longer with me but not as long as her brother did.
To this day, she still prefers daddy and is very much Daddy's girl and Daddy is the only one who really can comfort her. Ryan is Mommy's boy and when he needs to be comforted, I'm the one he runs to and asks for.
Both kids were with the same foster family. So we are doubly blessed because of this. They were well taken care of.
If you do encounter bonding issues, talk with your social worker. They might be able to provide some insight and help you out. What ours told us was that sometimes it just takes until they get sick and you're the one who's there to comfort them constantly. Then they have little choice but to bond with you.
Jen
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