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Hmm, I agree with Linny, it's unlikely this little one will have RAD if she was well bonded with gma. If Gma has kept her safe thus far, why do you worry about bparents coming after you?
A mediation agreement will usually take care of some of these issues of boundaries. We did this with our son's paternal gma and bdad.
I do have a concern though. You mentioned going back to work. I know many parents work that have kids. I personally have a major concern with taking in a child who needs to bond with new caretakers--esspecially after 18 mo. of being elsewhere, then to be put in a daycare with even more strangers. Both my kids have a lot of needs. Dr.s appts, EI (parent involved) ECSE (comes home late morning) and I need to be with them. If you were working while the child is in grade school, I understand because they are required to go to school and you can work while they are in. Do you suppose you can work from home or find ways to cut back for you to stay home for this child if placed? Are you aware that you will get foster payments until adoption and even after that, in many cases you may qualify for continued payment until the child is 18 as well as medical/dental care (regardless). This has helped us a lot in me being able to be here without hiring a nanny--not that I couldn't use a break!
Take care.
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Mommy by adoption to 2 beautiful boys, one born in '01, the other in '03. Now mommy to a new little girl born in '08, full bio to our oldest son. This adoption is in progress. We adopted through Oregon's DHS.
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