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Believe me, if you've read very many of my posts on older child adoption, you'll know that I think it's very, very risky the older the child is. And, our family has certainly had it's share of RAD kids!
But........when you posted that this baby has been with her grandmother for the last 10months, I'm going to assume that it's been a very stable and loving home. You also mention that you worry about bfather finding the child, but I would think grandmother would be helpful in protecting the whereabouts of the little one too? The drugs and alcoholism are not uncommon......and the choice is up to you as to how seriously you want to consider this. Does this mean that the baby will certainly be bi-polar? No, it doesn't. Have alcohol issues? No, it doesn't. But you may need to be more aware of these things as the girl grows up, KWIM?
As long as she has been able to attach to the grandmother---this is a very good sign.
The only thing I would say is that you should consider taking some considerable time off in order to bond well with her. Whether she was an infant, or a toddler, that time to bond is pretty critical.
Whatever you choose, best of luck to you!
Sincerely,
Linny
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