[Jody M]

Amen to your post and an echo to how I feel about adoption. Hasn't it been said that it is not the circumstances that persons face in life that defeat them- but how they respond to them- how they reframe them in their mind. One truly can interpret their adoption in the negative and perceive it as rejection, abandonment or hatred by the birth parents. But of course that is a huge travesty for if one does take this stance they do not believe much truth about their adoption. When thinking of the alternative to a birth parent NOT chosing to parent- if they did not chose adoption, they would chose abortion. Now understandably that would be rejection, abandonment- doing away with a precious beautiful life and the potential that lies before them "pregnant" with hope and possibilities.
Yes- adoptees, especially those in the closed adoption system, once they comprehend adoption, have to process what that means and integrate that into their identity. And adoption has mixed emotions for the story of a birth parent having a baby and their inability to parent and raise the baby is a sad story. (one that many adoptees from the closed adoption were protected from- don't share the story for fear they will feel sad or rejected) So that processing can involve grieving the loss that the baby encountered. But moving through grief one comes to resolution and a new insight of their life and purpose. As a Christian person I found it so fascinating to read about adoptees ( or those separated from their birth parents) in the Bible- Moses,Esther, Samuel, Joseph. God allowed their adoption for a purpose for their growth, development, equipping for ministry- service and to fulfill God's plan. All these persons went through some great trials and losses but became stronger persons and leaders. As an adoptee, I find these stories are included in the bible to bring hope and a bigger picture of God's plan for He is Sovereign over our lives and adoption experiences.
Thanks again for the first post of this thread! I hope many adoptees who read this will take some time to reflect upon their adoption and be grateful for their birth parents choosing Life for them, and knowing God has a plan for their lives that He allows to enfold through one's adoption- that can make one become bitter or stronger and better. We must chose and direct our thoughts about being adopted. Victims or victors/overcomers?
Blessings, Jody Moreen, adoptee