[Shawn_in_Korea]

I am a single American father whom just adopted an 8 year old Korean boy. I have known him for almost 2 years, from volunteering at his orphanage. I never planned on trying to adopt, I just saw the pain that he and the other children were in and I couldn’t stand by. I found his father and did a private adoption. As such, I have to wait 2 years before I can take him to America. If you know of a quicker way to get a visa with a private foreign adoption, please let me know.

My problem is that while he is allowed to go to school, he can’t do so until the government gives final approval to the adoption, which could take months. So, he just sits at home watching TV and playing computer games for half the day, before he goes to English classes and Tae Kwon Do. That is not a life to live. Some friends in the Army suggested to do home schooling, which I would have no problems with, except that I am not home enough and the language barrier. He speaks as much English as I speak Korean, and that is not too much. I don’t know what to do. I looked at several private schools, but they are way too expensive and the cheaper ones are usually the insanely religious ones that have me declare my allegiance to Jesus and I have to have a paper from my church, etc… That is not for me and I definitely don’t want my son to be some crazed zealot. Actually, since I started this, we I have gotten more into Buddhism. But I haven’t seen any Buddhist schools here.

My other problem is that because of his experiences with Korea and from watching me go through the adoption process, he has grown a lot of anger towards Koreans. He hates his own people and I can’t seem to help him. Even now, when we go around town or do anything, many Korean people are very rude to him, while almost all the foreign people have been really kind. It is up to him to decide, but having so much anger is not good. He is Korean and I want him to be proud of who he is, not angry. What should I do?

I was thinking of moving to another country, as I don’t have to stay in Korea for the 2 years, I just can’t go to America. What advice do you have on this? Would it be bad for him? I know it would force him to learn English faster, which he wants to do. All of the kids adopted from his orphanage went to America, so many of the kids there really want to learn English, but they lack the study skills and the proper parental push to learn. Even with me helping him and him wanting to learn, it is slow. I am an English teacher, so I would have to get that job in another country. Unfortunately most of the countries that hire are not good places to raise a family. I thought maybe Japan, as it is safe, close and pays well, but Koreans and the Japanese tend to hate each other. Any advice on this?