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KK, I see it's been awhile since you first posted. I hope you are doing better.
Our first placement failed. We had the baby in our arms 45 min. after birth. He was home with us for 5 wks. Then the bparents changed their minds about the placement. We also believed it would work out.
You are right. The devestation is horrific. I'm afraid for me I really didn't heal until our son came home. We were fortunate in that we only waited another 3 months, and then he was born just 4 days after we were matched. But it was a scary wait until TPR, I'm afraid no one could convince us the 2nd time to relax and it would all be OK. We were nervous wrecks until everything was finalized.
But the good news is that once you have your forever child every hurdle you went through is worth it.
But untl then I am so sorry for your pain. I understand how much it hurts. (((hugs)))) Lori
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1st Placement Fails 1/05
2nd Match, Born 4/05, Finalized 10/05!
Trajedy strikes, DH dies suddenly 12/05
Paving a new path for myself & son 
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