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THis has been a long itime coming. We had offered for a step parent adoption because our daughter had asked for it. He basically said over his dead body and then made our lives as difficult as possible. He has always fought for visitation but has never paid to for it himself. He has taken us to court several times in the past. He was abusive/controlling during our marraige towards me. I have felt that he unconciously/conciously used our daughter to try and hurt me.
Anyway to make a long story short two days after his child support was increased and he was back ordered several thousands of dollars he emailed us letting us know he was ready for the step-parent adoption.
I've been polite sinc then. He has never been "nice" to me in any corospondance but since he agreed to the adoption its like all the control has been taken away so he is for the FIRST time resonable! Its made such a positive difference in his relationship with our dd. I faciliate visits (very limited-I still protect my dd's needs FIRST) because I do feel it is important that he be part of our daughters life, this is for her not for him. Anyway I dont' know if he will contest it or not. I doubt it. But on the odd chance that he will I now think we will be okay. I flipped out a little when I learned he may be coming into money. Its been such an ideal sitaution for the first time, I panicked at the thought of gong back.
He signed the consent and hasn't asked us anything since about the adoption. We have gone on like normal but without extended visits. He is still in contact and we will keep it that way.
I contacted our attorney who explained that if he does get a large sum of money (I'm positive he has/or is) and he should decide to contest then we would just hit him with another child support review and get 20% of the sum he will recieve pre-tax. Leaving him with only 50% of the money he will be getting. I know him and know that will be it for him. So not so worried anymore. He is still part of her life. I think we all agree it was a negative experience (visitation) and dealing with each other and none of us want to go back, especially our dd.
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