[Forever_family]

Thanks for the PM!

Well got to thinking. I was watching my dd in gymnastics tonight and all the doubts and fears were coming over me in waves. I wanted to come back here and defend myself to some unkown about my first marriage and how wondeful my family is now. How silly.

My family is wonderful (while not perfect) I am truly a stronger and more able person because of the trials I have had in my life and that includes an abusive marriage. I came here initially today because I am afraid. Its been a long time since I have felt defensive about my past. I've moved on in my life. But I went back there today and revisited the old me who defined myself as simply a divorced single mom, not exactly top of the things I dreamed I would be as a Young Woman. In reality this has only made me stronger and has made me who I am today and has given me the family I have today. It is not something that is necessary to grow, being in a bad marriage, please don't take me wrong. For me, I no longer look at the situation the same. Thankfully I have reached a level of forgiveness and peace.

Heavenly Father has blessed me. I know my family and I know our strengths. Anyway I got to thinking. I'm too afraid to even call, why? There really isn't an answer. So I'm going to call and get the paperwork sent to us.

I can't imagine they would say "no" to my paticular situation. I do not condone divorce because one "feell out of love" or is bored nor do I or will I ever condone staying in an abusive marriage. I have a sense of strength knowing that through Heavenly Father's help I was able to overcome and to prevent my daughter from being part of an abusive life. I have more gratitude for my husband, the man that he is because of this. I could go on and on with the blessings and growth that are part of me because of my trials.

It was quite a process to get my temple sealing cancelled and then to get permission to marry my wonderful husband in the temple. The document granting me that is signed by Gorden B. Hinckley. I was thinking that, no, I can't imagine they would tell me no, at least not for that reason!

We feel very strongly about going to LDSFS for our adoption. So that is where we will go.

Thanks for listening. I think I sorted out my own problem, feelings of inadquacy, fears.....for now anyway. This is a scary process, isn't it? Putting yourself out there like this and hoping somebody will choose you. Sorry for the typoes not a lot of time and I write way too fast.

L