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"She has my maiden name, the birthfather was never involved and is not on the birth certificate, he signed consent to adoption form."
If your daughter is currently using your maiden name, what is the problem of her keeping it? If she were using her BF's last name and she felt no animosity towards him, then I can see her reason for wanting to keep it. But since he's not in the picture why not let her keep something that obviously means something to her.
I don't agree with the judge saying one thing to your daughter and then doing something else in the courtroom. However, I do agree with everyone else who has said that counseling isn't a bad idea. What could go wrong with a couple of counseling sessions? You just might learn something new and it might improve your relationship with your daughter. I'm not saying it's a bad relationship, but what harm can come from counseling?
I do think that changing the name of a child is indeed a huge issue. Especially for a girl who is in that pre-adolescent stage. Right now her identity is pretty shaky. She's just starting to figure out who she is. A name change is bigger than you think it is. Family unity is not caused by a name change. It's what you do together as a family how you treat each other that makes a united family.
I don't mean to cause any negative feelings, but it seems that the name change issue is pretty controversial.
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