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I'd have to say that your problem with the system is totally common. INSANE? ABSOLUTELY! And there is truly NO excuse for the system to act this way; but alas, this is why so many people throw up their hands and say, 'Forget it all!" (Who could blame them.)
In our experience of over 14yrs and dealing with the system within our state, this is the basic attitude. Sad, but true.
If you don't get anywhere with the suggestions that San has given, try hotspice's suggestion. Keep in mind that it usually goes that 'the squeeky wheel gets the grease'. There are oftentimes so many unseen ego trips within agencies and the system in general, the kids (as usual) often get the shaft.
While older child adoption was not been a pleasant experience for our family; I know that there are successful ones out there. The main thing to remember is to keep focused on what the goal is----and don't take 'no' for an answer! ((HUG))
Hang in there!
Sincerely,
Linny
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