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Originally Posted By barki

I agree with both Anon and Lara. You have to be careful to not just sit back and say, "Hey! You blew it, now you have to earn my trust all over again!" It's best to give little bits and let them go forward with that.

Also, remember that you can't just assume that just because a child is X years of age they will be able to have Y amount of responsibility. Some 10 year olds CAN make their own breakfast of cold cereal -- others can't. So be sure to start really REALLY basic for the first couple of weeks until you have a feel for where this child is, capability and responsibility-wise.

I thought that since our son was almost 2 1/2 yo that he'd have had experience spoon/fork feeding himself. Anyway, I don't think he did have much experience with that, or wasn't comfortable doing it in his new environs! LOL Poor kid just kind of looked at me in puzzlement at first, so we restarted with more finger foods again. Since he did so well within a couple of weeks I think it had to do with too many other things going on for him to concentrate on those fine motor skills.

Which reminds me, the idea of regression has to be taken into account, too. Maybe the child WAS able to do these things at the foster home, but is overwhelmed with so many emotions and new expectations and people and what not that they just can't get it together in your home yet. By starting small and working up to bigger things -- as Lara said -- you help them build confidence and to feel more comfortable in your home, which helps when they do eventually make that boo-boo.