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Originally Posted by mommywannabee
Sometimes people blurt things out and wish they could take them back as soon as the words come out of their mouths...
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This is so true. I think that we can get caught up in our own little forum world where just about everyone is "adoption sensitive," and we tend to forget that for the rest of the world, this is just not part of their lives and they have no reason to think about what they should or shouldn't say to "us." They don't know the accepted terms (and often neither do we!) or the phrasing that we consider appropriate -- they're not being mean, they just don't know -- and they probably don't know that they don't know! I'm afraid to wonder what unintentionally horrible things I might have said to someone who's experiencing something about which I might be totally clueless...
If everything else is good with this daycare, I'd say to let it go. 99% of people don't mean any harm or disrespect when they use the words "real" or "your own" to differentiate between adopted and bio. My stepkids love me and consider me family, but they still call their bio mom their "real mom" when talking to others. People who are not touched by adoption are not going to walk around saying "bio mother," "birth mother," "first mother," etc. I have never heard or read those terms outside of this forum or our agency's office. I still only hear "real mom" and "real kids." I don't like it, but I just keep remembering that there's no evil intent.