You have received great advice here and I have somewhat of an idea what you are going through just a little different on my end. But the phone calls and "requesting" makes it very hard to build a relationship.
Boundaries need to be set and it is going to be difficult to do, but it is something that needs to be done early. When we get phone calls, they "beat around the bush" about needing money for this and that, but I just listen and then share about their daughter and what we have been doing. It is very hard for me, for I will help anyone when asked, but when it is "expected", I have a hard time with it. If and when you do make that phone call, just remain firm with them and if they ask for something, just let them know that you are unable to provide like you have been in the past for them.
You know you can contact me anytime and we can talk, so never hesitate to do that
and I will look for you online sometime and we will chat.
Terri
AMom to 2