[Amy2U]

I'm an adoptee, but thought I'd share about both bio and adopted sides who adopted after having biological children.

My birth mom, she had me, relinquished me, then 2 yrs. later, got married, then after 15 yrs. of not being able to have children with her husband because of his medical condition, she says, they adopted. Her husband is Ukrainian, so they adopted a boy from Ukraine. My bio. blood has Hungarian, in it it, so then they adopted a girl from Romania, 2 yrs. later, but, both children are the same age. It's funny, the boy looks like my bio. mom's husband, and the girl, kind of has my bio. mom's face. What a match, eh?

But, well, my bio. mom she loves her adopted children, and when they are 18, she's even taking them back overseas to meet their biological relatives, and for the kids to learn about their backgrounds. However, she wants nothing to do with ME, and noone except her sister knows about ME. Thankfully though, my baunt, loves me and wants me in HER life, and I'm comforted with that, right now.

Then there is my adopted parents. They already had 2 boys, 12 and 8, when I was a foster baby in their home. Then 2 yrs. of being fostered, they decided to adopt me. But, it was my DAD'S decision, not my mother's. She only intended to foster me until I was placed in a home, but my dad said, "we are keeping this baby." He even called back to his parent's and said, "I got my baby girl." With my deformities and health problems too.
Unfortuneatly, because if was not a MUTUAL decision, the next 18 yrs. were filled with emotional and physical abuse from my mother, and sexual abuse from her father, (my grandfather) which, last yr. I found out from my brother, who happened to remember some details, my mother k new the WHOLE 4 YRS. that her father was molesting me.

I guess my story, is kind of sad, from both perspectives, but I think it is GREAT, if you and your husband BOTH want another baby, and the feeling is MUTUAL, 100%, and you KNOW, that you KNOW, that you KNOW, your adopted child will be loved and cared and treated JUST LIKE your biological child, YOU'LL BE THE BEST PARENTS IN THE WORLD to that child and you'll have an AMAZING family who will touch the lives of many by your love and devotion to 2 (or more) children biological and adopted in the SAME WAY, with the SAME LOVE.

It's a big decison, I THINK to adopt after having a biological child. I know, in my case, being an adopted child, with the past that I had, it would be hard for ME, personally, to adopt after having my biological children, because I'm afraid of treating the adopted child differently, not on purpose, but out of how I was treated differently. So, I can't go there, atleast as of yet.

But, many parents, including my old counselor, who, I love with all my heart like a dad, has 2 adopted and 1 biological, and I always tell him, "I wish you had adopted me, and I had been in YOUR family."

Some people can, EMOTIONALLY adopt after having biologically, some people shouldn't, like my parents did.

I guess you have to know in your heart and your husband's heart what the best thing is for you both emotionally, and for your family, and for your biological child.

I'm rambling. Hope it gave some insight and helped.