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Thanks everyone,
I have read a few other threads with more opinions on both side and want to thank you all so much for sharing your thoughts and personal feelings with me.
We have decided to change our older foster son's name to incorporate both names he goes by now, no decision on middle name/ 2 middles yet, probably going with 2 but either way we both agree that using both first names that he knows together is the best for him.
For our younger foster son, we have decided to go with the more formal version of his first name. We have talked to so many people who, although they wouldn't change their names now as an adult, wish they were given a more formal name from the start. Again no decision on middle names, but their first names are now "decided" on and we both feel much better about it.
So thanks again, this was such a process of not only finding the "right" name, but coming to accept that adoption does not heal all wounds.
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K
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