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Au pairs can be a good idea, if you work with a good organization.

"Au pair" comes from the French words for "as an equal". Basically, when you agree to take on an au pair, she is supposed to be treated more like a member of your family than like an employee. In other words, she sleeps in your house, has meals with you, goes with you on outings, and so on.

Au pairs are usually young women in the 18-25 year old age range, either from the U.S. or from overseas. Good au pair agencies screen them pretty carefully, try to find a "good fit" with a family, take care of visa issues (for those from overseas), and provide some orientation. Some get the women CPR certified. Some keep in close touch with the au pairs to ensure that they aren't homesick, facing culture shock, or having problems with their host families. Some have local events so that the au pairs they place in a given city can socialize and share their experiences.

The au pair can be expected to do things like babysit, make a simple meal for a child, drive a child to and from school or activities, help a child clean up his/her toys, or assist with homework. She is NOT a housekeeper or maid. Most au pair contracts require that you limit the person's work hours to 45 or fewer per week. Host families provide the au pair with a weekly stipend. Au pairs are usually given 1.5 days off each week, at least one full weekend off each month and two weeks paid vacation during the year.

Financially, you pay a weekly stipend to the au pair, plus an agency fee.

Many families rave about their au pairs. They love having an energetic young woman in their household, not just helping, but being a role model and "big sister" for their child. When the au pairs are foreign-born, they love learning about the young women's culture and helping them to learn about the U.S. They like the flexibility of having a live-in person, if they have to make a quick trip to the supermarket or have irregular hours. And they like the price, which is usually much lower than a nanny would charge.

But there are downsides. Some Moms don't really like handing too much responsibility to an 18 year old. As an example, do you want an 18 year old driving your child in a car? Especially if she's fairly new to U.S. driving? I sure don't. I hire driving babysitters who are older and long experienced behind the wheel.

Some of the au pairs will become homesick, will have problems involving the young man back home or some new young man met in this country, will wind up with health issues, etc. Some of the host families will wind up having to function as parents to the young women, and not just to their own children, which sort of defeats the purpose of having them.

Some host parents will find that they simply need their privacy too much to enjoy having an au pair around. When they come home from work, they don't want to hear the au pair's music CDs or some TV station that they don't like, don't want to smell someone else's favorite foods being cooked, and don't want to find that someone has just taken a long shower and used all the hot water.

Some host parents will find that their au pairs don't have the same standards of cleanliness that they have, or are too noisy, or too moody. Some will find that their au pairs don't understand the type of discipline they use, don't model good English for their child, and so on.

But, the fact is that au pair programs have been around for a long time, and many are approved by the U.S. State Department for placing overseas young women.

So if you want to consider an au pair, by all means ask around in your community. You will probably find people who are using a particular organization, and who give it a big thumbs-up for its service.

Sharon