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I know this is a huge and hot topic. I personally feel that it's up to the adoptive parents.
Our 2 children will get totally new names. FS is 5 years old and he wants a new name. FD is almost 3 and is doing great with her new name.
This is a very personal thing. You have to look at the dinamics of your family and how you feel and how the kids will/do feel. Since they are under 3 the transition will not be terribly hard. We did ours like this:
FD was 2 years old and let's say her name was Jane. We decided her name should be Sara. So you just call her SaraJane for a few months. Then you can drop the Jane part. It works out fine and there are thousands of kids who have adjusted to this (internaional adoptive parents do this majority of the time).
Our kids know their names are changing and they are fine with it. I have a life book for them with their birthnames in it. It's no secret and never will be. We have taken the position that they now have a new life so they can have a new name. Now if they would have been old enough and protested, we'd have found a compromise to the situation.
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Kate
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