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I am leaning towards adding the second middle name myself, I'm glad to hear someone else think that is not a bad idea.
Yes their last name would be a part of us, but that is more a legal standing, we wanted to add a personal name to their names. I don't see the last name as a personal connection, by law here given their age if we adopt them we have to change their last name to ours. It does not address the melding of past and present in my opinon.
Given our children's young ages I do not think they will mind the addition of a second middle name, nor do I honestly think they would miss the middle name they have now but we'd rather add than detract.
As for letting him decide later in life on the issue of "Mikey" I think that would be too late. I do think people's impressions of you are influenced by your name, whether conscious or not and I do not want him to be limited at all in life for having a nickname. Most people would consider it to be informal and therefore not take him as seriously, whether they would admit to it or not, or are even conscious of this bias or not.
Thanks for all of the advice though, I do like to hear all opinons.
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K
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