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My thought is that you should encourage her to get good prenatal care and stop using drugs or cigarettes. Also, if she is seeing a doctor regularly, the doctor will be able to talk to her as well about the dangers of smoking and using drugs during pregnancy.

However, nothing you do or say will force a person to act in a certain way unless she really wants to do it. If you talk to her about drug and cigarette use and are not satisfied with her response, then you have to decide whether or not to pursue a match with her. Not all matches are meant to happen, and she may not be the right birthmom for your family.

And yes, Heather is right in that until she signs adoption papers, the child is not really yours. Like it or not, she is more or less free to go about her life as she chooses. If you are looking for a situation where you can actively control what the pregnant woman does, surrogacy is probably a better idea than adoption.