[heartbeat]

Hi,

Day late, but really wanted to mention this as a possibility. First, please don't apologize for 'bothering' us. That's what's so great about forums, if we don't want to be 'bothered' we can pass by those posts. <smile>

One thing I haven't seen mentioned is mental health issues. It's not unheard of for women with psychological disorders to get pregnant and not really be able to process how not to, or even cause and effect. I've heard of women whose situations sound somewhat similar to your bmom's. They have babies and it's almost like they forgot where they put them down last - they forget dates and years of birth, fathers, as well as when they lived where, what psych hospital they were in and when, etc. In their more lucid moments, they may actually realize that they can't remember the details, but may remember the births, and due to (unwarranted) shame, that's when they may make things up to fill in gaps. But they forget between lucid times what they've said, so stories never match. [I have a lot of compassion for those women, as well as the men. I can't imagine the horror their lives are. Or maybe they're not with it often enough to recognize how different they are and how much they're missing. <sigh> Remember the movie Awakenings with Robin Williams & DeNiro? True, tragic story.]

Anyway, I wanted to at least mention that to you. I'm not sure how one would go about finding out the state of someone's mental health. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to ask them.

I feel for you. You're in a difficult position with lots of tiptoeing and eggshells. My best advice is to be patient with and kind to yourself. This isn't a walk in the park. This is hard stuff.

Warmly, heartbeat