[Moongrl22]

I agree with you. I think it's selfish and sad. I understand their are so many different situations why Bmothers decided to give up their baby for adoption. I have to believe in MOST situations it's out of LOVE.

If my daughter choose not to have any relation with me and all she wanted is information/medical records etc,... she better go through my lawyer or the adoption agency. I'd rather not be contacted or have my family turned upside down. It would be my worst fear come true if my daughter didn't want any relation with me. Honestly, I'd rather hear from the adoption agency if she doesn't want any contact with me and end it at that point. I recently told my 11 year old daughter that it might be a possiblity that someday her big sister may not want to know us. What she said blew me away when she said "She's not greatful, you gave her life" well you could have had an abortion. WOW, I was stunned. I told her I would have never aborted her for any reason but we do have to respect her choice. I'm not saying it's not a Bmother's worst FEAR.

Originally Posted by mabear

HI EVERYONE!

These may be only MY thoughts, but if I were a birth mother and learned my child wanted ONLY medical information with no meeting or potential relationship, I would be very unhappy. The "gimme gimme goodbye'' approach would be a big turnoff.

Sure it's scarey looking for a parent and risking rejection, but why wouldn't you at least think of her feelings in this? Give her a chance to share her feelings and problems which no doubt are many.

I'm not judging you, but I think you are taking a very one-sided look at this. Even if your a-parents are perfect, there are other reasons besides your needs to give something on an emotional level to the woman who gave you life.

Hugs,

Mary S.

P. S. Now, on the other hand, should you find your
b-mom and she refuses to see you or communicate with you, THEN I WOULD INSIST ON HER PROVIDING YOU WITH MEDICAL INFORMATION, which I feel is your basic right.