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I can tell you what I have told my 15 year old about his birthfather. He also left the birthmother high and dry and after my son was born, really had little or nothing to do with him. He was more than happy to sign the papers terminating his rights and left town immediately after.
I told my son that his birthfather was young, not in a committed relationship with the birthmother, was a high school dropout. Because of that he had no education and no job. He was clearly not a person who was in any way, shape or form ready to be a parent. I emphasized that it had nothing to do with him -- he was an infant -- but had more to do with his lack of both resources and a relationship with the birthmother.
On the other hand, I made sure I told him that if he found himself in a similar situation, I would hold him to a higher standard than that. I would expect him to take responsibility for his child. I also reminded him that he had his dad and I to rely on for support and his birthfather did not (he was raised by grandparents who were elderly).
Interestingly enough, my son is somewhat interested in seeking out his birthmother when he's an adult, but told me in no uncertain terms that he was not interested in finding his birthfather. He may change his mind later on, but who knows?
I would be honest, but tactful, when dealing with this sort of thing. Doesn't do the child any good to lie to him, but neither does being too blunt about it.
Good luck!
Robin
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