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Originally Posted by julien3
I am a birthmom going through a private adoption.
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I hesitated to post this, but if you were a prospective adoptive parent using inaccurate language I would have had no problem jumping in, so why not with and expectant parent?
If your baby is not yet born and/or have not already signed relinquishments you are not a birthmom, you are a mother and a parent. Claiming that is so important to this whole process. I believe the practice of calling expectant/new parents "birthmoms" is subtly coersive. It is assuming a title before it actually happens. While many agencies/lawyers/facilitators also use this language it does not take away from the fact that the decision to place is remade again and again and it is not a title we have until after that decision is made one final time after our baby's birth and we sign those papers.
Please allow yourself the title of mother/parent while you have it.