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Dear Ashbre,
Obviously this is a very tough and emotional situation, especially with such I'm sure precious children. Perhaps you are working harder to save this situation than the people that should be the most concerned, namely the childrens mother.
As hard as it is sometimes, it may be better to just say, ok, I let go. Perhaps the children could be moved into a pre-adoptive home and you could stay in touch as an extra "grandma". There are wonderful adoptive parents out there who would be very kind to the children and to you.
Unfortunately, you are single-handedly trying to hold this thing together. Your husband and stepdaughter are who they are and them changing at this point is unlikely. Perhaps you not holding things together anymore will give them a reason to get in gear.
Wishing you and your family the best.
Jami
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