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Originally Posted by hotspice58
Shy_bear is right: educate yourself about attachment disorders (being a teenager, he/she has probably been in numerous homes). I had a 14 yo boy: attachment disorders but not a bad kid.
Also, have rules and punishments written out so they can see what their consequences will be if they disboey you.
One more thing: I learned this from a psychiatrist: it takes about a year for him/her to get used to you/comfortable with you. During that time, he/she will probably talk back to you, teachers and other adults and possibly call you names. Learn all you can!!
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The 'rules of the home contract' is typically required by county adoption agencies as part of the child's packet. The disruption rate is SO high that it's used as a pre-emptive strike. If you have to do it a copy will remain in your fkids folder permanently.
As far as a year for kids to adjust. My so was 6.5 when he arrived and is 11yo now. He's still verbally abusive at times and can't attend public school due to fear and respect issues. Every little kid he knows has learned from him. I used to warn my parenting friends about listening to conversations with their own kids and him. I've said it a million times...Had he arrived as a second or third child I would have disrupted before finalization.