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Originally Posted by Paytonsmom
If we do this we need to be able to find a healthy girl in that age range. I don't think we'd be willing to accept a special needs child. This is mainly a dh issue. His biggest concern with having two children is probably health issues. So going into this I know what our limits are. Dd was sick alot in the first 3 1/2 years and dh seems to have a hard time with this (something other than the basic colds that is)
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In the beginning, my DH was set on HEALTHY HEALTHY HEALTHY... But I was in his ear constantly explaining that this was not realistic. I read him articles, emailed him links to websites, talked about it all the time... and now he is totally OK with it and aware that health issues are probable...not just possible. He's even contemplating a SN child when 6 months ago, it was out of the question. So, there's hope for your DH, but you need to go in with eyes open...
I have to tell you that with International Adoption (or any adoption for that matter), you really need to be ready for anything. While I feel the dialogue is a little on the extreme side, please read this post:
health issues in chinese orphans
By asking for a healthy child, you're still going to get a child with issues beyond basic colds most of the time. Because there is so much you won't know about the child's background, parent's health, and even underlying issues that haven't cropped up yet, you still could have health problems to deal with. I would strongly encourage that you sit down with your dh and ask him...no, require... that he do some reading. If ear infections freaked him out, he may not be ready for this. He really needs to be on the same page as you in terms of his knowledge about possible health issues with international adoption or he's going to be in for a big shock later, and that's not fair to the child, or your family.
I guess I wonder what would happen if you had a bio child with health issues. What would he do then? These are questions that will probably come up in your homestudy (i.e. How will you be prepared to handle "XYZ"), even more so if you go for a toddler or a SN child. Even SN kids with correctable issues such as clefts or limb differences will come home with needs above and beyond ear infections or colds.
Think hard and keep reading, praying, and educating your DH. The more he knows and understands, the better.
Best wishes to you both!