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Originally Posted By Linny

Dear Amazed:
Your post is one that I fear may bring 'reality' to the open adoption issues.
We have adopted six times....none of these has been 'open'; however in our most recent adoption (and not our last, God willing), we agreed to send photos to birthmom through our agency (and only for the first couple of years). This is plenty for us.
What you describe in your 'open' adoption, seems to be exactly what I fear in that we would not be the 'parents', but the 'temporary parents' or 'nanny' as you say.
I have a hard time thinking this 'open-ness' in raising a child is good for the child; or that most birthmom/bf's could keep a respectful distance and allow the adoptive parents to truly be the parents. Guess I have seen too many meddling in 'step-parent situations' (especially when the child becomes a teen), to think that most bios could do the 'right thing'.
In our case, I don't think the birthmom is awful; but, like you, we know she didn't want this child....she wanted to abort (but she was too far along).....and while I feel she did a marvelous thing-------I don't intend to 'glamorize' it either.
When our child is older and wishes to search, we would support this. But a relationship with an adult is much different than with a juvenile or small child.
If I'm way off base here.....someone tell me 'why'....other than, "We birthed this child, so rightfully, it will always be ours" kind of thing.

Sincerely,

Linny