[tobeafamily]

Originally Posted by HBV

You know, I think the two previous posts raise a really important point that is important to the OP's question. While I agree that it would be useful to understand an attorney's views on some of these issues, e.g. open adoption and counseling just because you are choosing a personal representative and you want to be comfortable with them, I don't at all agree that it's unethical for a lawyer to advise against an aparent allowing birthparents to take a child home. Lawyers are required, under the rules of the American Bar Association, to zealously represent their clients. Not the birthparents, not the hospital, not the agency.

A lawyer is an advocate, not a liaison. I think that's an important distinction between lawyers and agencies. I think, in fact, that it may be a deciding factor in using one instead of the other. Agencies do act as liaisons, and the ethics that apply to that position are different.

My thoughts exactly. Lawyers should absolutely not impose their personal beliefs on their client. They should service the client by counseling them in matters of the law and in the benefit of their experience. That may seem and often is adversarial. And often, it's against their personal beliefs. I've seen divorce attorneys whom I know directly abhor their client and the position they wish to take, yet they do so with professionalism and without their client ever detecting their contempt. Because that's their job.

I'd view it as unethical for them to do otherwise - to impose their personal view or act on anyone's behalf other than mine. I'm not paying them to offer advice to someone else. I'm paying them to represent me. That they better well do to the very best of their ability, personal feelings regardless.

Now an agency, yes, it is their job to counsel all and act as a liaison. And they did use different words and communicate with both us and our son's bparents about the situation. They counseled against it because of their interaction with all of it - not because it was in our best interest but because they felt it was also in his bparents' best interests. Their reasons behind that were complicated and private but it was good advice. We chose not to take it but we all appreciated them saying it - doing their job for ALL of us.

JMHO

Regina