[I have answered the questions below and have posted the answers in a different color.
QUOTE=Alesya]Hello everyone!
I am a newcomer, so please forgive if these questions were already discussed.And I would be really thankful if you give me links to similar topics.
I am Russian and live in Russia. And as it's well known there are a lot of orphans here
. Now, fortunately , more and more people adopt children, special articles appear in newspapers, special programms on TV, and I am really hope that the situation with orphans will be changed some day.
Now I have questions to adult adoptees, but if adparents agree to share their experience, I would be very thankful too. These questions are regularly discussed in our Russian forum, but there are only a few aduld adoptees (because adoption wasnot very popular in Russia years ago, and besides many parents kept secret). That's why I am here and ask you.
1) How do you think adparents should keep secret about adoption or no? Why? I
do not think the adoption should be kept secret. The reason is because the child has a right to know about their heritage. The medical issues are an important reason to be honest about the adoption.
2)If NO. When should adparets tell the child about it? (-is it better to grow up with this knowledge? or at 6-7, or at 20? When? I
think the parents should tell the child when the child is old enough to understand, maybe 6-7.
3)How should parents say? (- you was born by strange woman and then your reall found you;-your mam was good but unhappy( or ill) and could not keep you...) Please write the way you would like to hear it?
I explained to my daughter that her bmom loved her very much, but she was in college and did not think that she could care for her. I explained that she could have chosen abortion but she gave her life and that was the greatest gift a mother could give to a child.
4) Do you prefer to know all true about your bioparents, even really bad or not? For example, should adparents tell their adchild that his bioparents are in prison for serial murders?
My daughter wanted to know the truth and this was the truth. I do not think a child should be told that the parent is in prison or has murdered.
Thank you.
Sorry for my English.[/quote]