[2bASingleMom]

You do have to realize that adoption, while a wonderful thing, is riddled with loss...loss of the child's birth family and heritage, loss of the adoptive parents idea of what 'should have been', etc. It doesn't make an adoptive family less of a family, but you have to allow yourself to feel the loss and move on so that you can see all the wonderful things about it!

Like saranbr said, you have to do what is right for you. Give yourself time. Think about it. Talk to other adoptive families about it. Forcing yourself into something that isn't right won't be good for anyone. You'll know when/if you're ready.

For me, as a single, it took four months for me to get my hs done. Many times I'd take a few steps and then stop and think 'is this what I really want to do right now?'. But I kept on and BOY am I glad I did! I'm starting #2.

Good luck to you! Only you have the answer. If it is any consulation, everyone goes through some sort level of anxiety about the process.

Oh, and as far as seeing family traits in your child, the kids will mimick you like parrots and you'll start to see all sorts of things that you wish you hadn't! My son - at 18 MONTHS! - is already mimicking me wag my finger and say no. :-) Ok, maybe not what you're looking for, but it is priceless.

Good luck!

~Lynn