[mom2GRLC]

Yes and no to the original question.

It really depends on the situation and the people involved.

With time as you bond to your child and as the bparent sees you parenting that child your roles in the childs life will become clear, but at the begining it can be confusing and difficult emotionally for everyone till you each find your places.

I went through a rough period at the start of our adoption(almost the whole first year) where It was so difficult to find my place and I did feel like That was her child and I felt guilty for being able to parent her when i knew she wanted to.

(It's wierd I never thought I would feel that way....because for the first year I had her as a fosterchild I was 100% her Mommy in my mind and heart and hers...but what happened over the next 6 months of the case and right after she signed over her rights....really affected my bond with my daughter. I had emotionally, spirituatlly and physically prepared not only myself but my daughter to move back to her birthmother and then it didn't happen. So it was hard to get back what we once had....where I felt like Her Mommy and where she knew that our home was her home and she wasn't going back to her birthmom.

But now I do feel completely like her mommy and i do have an open adoption with her birthmom and she is not confused about it. We all still struggle at times with our feelings including my daughter but we all feel more secure in our places. At times it does feel like on big happy family and other times it still feels a bit awkward.