[tobeafamily]

Dawn,

I'm fortunate to have a sister who makes her living in advertising. She's quite the expert in it!

Here's what she told me:

You've got to give your reader a sense of who you are, what you have to offer, get them interested/wanting to do what you want (act), then give them a method to do that. This is true for any marketing campaign - just read an ad in the paper. Always contains company, item, incentive to act, method to act.

I think your message covers some of that - what you want, method to act. Missing though is who you are and why they would be interested in acting.

List two or three things that you like about yourselves, your life - for instance in our case it was fun-loving, music and laughter. We asked our friends to give us some adjectives that describe 'us' to the world and that's what most people came up with.

Anyone reading might think - hey, fun-loving, not stuffy or fuddy-duddy. Or oh yeah music I like that too. Or I'm glad they like to laugh. Get it?

So, to add these elements:

We're Dawn and Josh. We dream of being a family through adoption of a newborn. We're a happily married couple ready to provide a warm, loving, safe home in the country. Can you help? Please contact us at XX

Get the idea?

These are just thoughts. Nobody can write your messages for you, they have to come from you to resonate to others as truth. I'd just encourage you to put yourself in the mind of those who will see your card - what impression of you do you want them to have in 1 or 2 sentences? What's important or special about you?

HTH, best of luck.

Regina