[DeNaJa]

We were initially told to get attornies in both states. They both took our retainer money. We were told we could finalize in our state, but the judge was hesitant. He finally allowed for the homestudy to begin through our county. We paid the county for the homestudy and the judge promptly changed his mind. He told our attorney he wanted to make this as difficult as possible for us hoping we would back out because he thought there was too great a risk...young birth mom. He didn't know the whole story so he couldn't know that she had specifically asked for us and that we were not going to abandon her after she put her trust in us, especially since it was a month till her due date and she would have to rush around trying to find another family! So, the adoption would have to be finalized in the sending state. That state wouldn't accept a county home study, so we needed to do another one though an agency (which was a LOT more money) and have it expeditied since it was less than 30 days till the due date (even more $)...we were NOT loving that judge! So, we were paying for 2 homestudies and the fee to expedite. The atty from our state says she has nothing else to do since the adoption would have to be finalized in the sending state. We thought we would get the balance on the retainer. After the birth and we returned to our state, no refund. I called. I called again. I called and wrote letters. Finally, I got a few bucks and a list of the expenses...she continued to bill for months after she told me she would have no more use in the case. She chaged us to review the records! She supposable called the other atty to discuss the case and charged us for that...although she had not reason to call to get info since she wouldn't and couldn't do anything legally for us! AGR. The atty from the sending state was upset by it and couldn;t beleive she had blown through nearly every penny of the retainer...for nothing. Beware. In our case, it was certainly easier to do it all thought 1 attorney in the sending state...plus our states are neighbors, so it isn't like we were flying all over the country. We had plenty of snafoos along the way, mostly from judges, but in the end, we have our amazing little girl and every single emotional moment was worth it. And every penny! Funny how people say adoption is "so expensive" and it is not cheap, but when you think of what people spend on cars or "toys", how much more is a CHILD? It is amazing that adoption is so cheap. I wish there was a network for families who want to adopt, but for whom the legal costs and travel costs are too high...they can afford to care for a child, but not to adopt one...maybe lawyers who would offer their services at a reduced rate and travel vouchers? Reduced rate hotel stays for interstate adoptions. We were in a hotel for 11 days with our 3 kids...a 2 year old, a 6 month old, and a newborn! But it was wonderful!

Make sure you have a real adoption attorney and not some family law attorney who is learning as he goes...you will be paying for his education and his mistakes! I loved our attorney from the sending state! She was wonderful!!!!