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Aray,
Wow tough decisions indeed...from your posts I have no doubt your a good and loving mom. Personally if It were me and I did go the adoption route I would opt for an open adoption where you can have some control over where your child ends up and possibly some communication over the years...I imagine the worst thing about all of this as the years pass is wondering about the child you carried and gave birth to. As you have read in the forums not all adoptees are fortunate...I was I went to loving parents and had 2 older brother although not perfectm my parents divorced when I was 4 I never lacked for love...my situation is a little different only because I was never told I was adopted and am only learning this recently..I never did not feel like I did not fit in.I can tell you for me personally I hold no anger towards anyone involved but yes I am curious and searching but frustrated that its difficult to learn anything about where I come from because of closed adoption laws...I do not long for my birthmother and not at all insecure and wonder why they did not want me.
My other advice would be that if you do decide to keep your child that all parties involved take the time to figure out how you are going to deal with these relationships. If you can't do it on your own then seek the advice of a councelor. Sounds to me that regardless if you and boyfriend remain together he is supportive and would probably be willing to work with you whille your dealing with all the other issues your having in your life...
If the relationship does not work out and you really truly decide you want no responsibility for this child, co parenting or visitation.. I think you should absolutely consider allowing the father to have sole custody why not if he's able, capable and competent at least you will always know the child will be well cared for, safe and loved,
Good luck and keep us posted
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