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Originally Posted By AMAZED

I WAS WONDERING THAT MYSELF... MY HUBBY AND I ARE APPROACHING THE END OF OUR ADOPTION. AND IT AMAZES ME HOW MUCH IT COSTS TO ADOPT A BABY!!!! CHANGING THE SUBJECT A LITTLE... MY OPEN ADOPTION WAS A NIGHTMARE!! OVER ALL IT ENDED UP EXACTLY THE WAY IT SHOULD HAVE. BUT THE PROCESS TO GET THERE...UHHH. I FIND MYSELF READING ALL THESE STORIES ON HERE ABOUT OPEN ADOPTION AND THERE BENEFITS AND IT MAKES FRUSTRATED. WELL MAYBE CONFUSED.. OR ENVIOUS.. I HAVE MIXED EMOTIONS ON ONE HAND I AM FOREVER GREATFUL TO OUR BMOM--CAUSE I KNOW IF IT WASN'T FOR HER WE WOULD NOT HAVE OUR PRECIOUS DAUGHTER. BUT ON THE OTHER HAND..SHE WAS NOT ONE WHO GAVE UP HER BABY PURILY FOR A BETTER HOME. SHE TRULY DID NOT WANT THE RESPONSIBILITY OF RAISING THIS CHILD ..SHE WOULD CUT INTO HER SOCIAL LIFE.. AND MIND YOU THIS IS THE 2ND CHILD SHE HAS GIVEN UP FOR ADOPTION. SO WHICH ROAD DO I TAKE. I HAVE ULTIMATELY DECIDED OF COURSE SHE WILL KNOW SHE WAS ADOPTED.. AND THROUGH OUT HER LIFE MAY SEE HER BMOM. BUT AM I BEING SELFISH TO BE CONCERNED OF HER BMOM ROLE IN HER LIFE. HELP!!! AT ONE POINT SHE SUGGESTED SHE MAY FIND A PLACE TO LIVE BY US...MAYBE EVEN NEXT DOOR...SO BASICALLY SHE IS LOOKING FOR US TO BE A NANNY TO HER CHILD!!!!