[JocelynC]

Open can be as open as you and the bmom want it to be. I've seen open adoptions where the bmom gets pictures and letters about her kids a few times a year. And I've seen some where the bmom gets to visit the kids monthly. The level of openess depends on what the 2 of you want.

In most open adoptions that I've observed, the bmom is in the same role as, say, an aunt. They are there for the child, but at the same time, they respect that the amom was chosen to parent the child and as such, they try to give them the space to do so.

Once you adopt a child, I personally feel that you, the amom, are for all intensive puposes, a "real" mom. You are the one they see regularly, depend on for the necessities, and run to to wipe their tears and kiss their "boo boos".