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I don't feel that way either, but again we are in a domestic open adoption and have had our son since birth. I know that I am my son's Mommy but she is his first mother or what we call Tummy Mummy. I have no doubt that he will grow up to love me just like any child loves their mother. We make all the decisions on his care. We don't have to consult her. We don't call her up to ask if something is okay regarding how we are raising him. Now, that doesn't mean that I don't share things with her. I do. I try and share anything that makes her comfortable. That is hard right now because she is hurting but I look forward to a lifetime of sharing with her.
We all know, however, that we are not sharing parental rights. She wants him to love us as Mommy and Daddy. She wants us to create a family. I guess the best way to explain it is that we are just sharing the love we feel for him. I don't think that should cause any confusion for him. Does that make sense?The way I see it is that he is so lucky because he will also have this other incredible woman in his life who he can love as well.
I don't know if I articulated myself well because I'm new to this but I believe open adoption can really work.
Peace,
K
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