Yep, that emotional bonding/cementing/connecting thing seems to be what we all desire, but we are so afraid of putting ourselves "out there" to do it. I bet our bfamilies are afraid as well, to some degree. I've been in reunion a little over a year, and my relationship started with my baunt (my bmom was reluctant to reunite for a while). So I developed this really intense, close, spill-your-guts relationship with my aunt, and then worried that because I put all my insecurities out there and she knew about all my issues (which, by comparison to many people I know, are really not that big of a deal) that I would never have a chance with any of them for holding onto a long-term relationship.
My bmom and I have an even more intense relationship now, and it makes me even more insecure because I feel like I would really die without her. I think as adoptees we already have a fear in trusting of the permanence of any relationship. So the more we let loose, the less protetcted we are...and then the massive paranoia kicks in
That was really good advice back there...try really hard not to imagine what the other person is thinking. But yeah...that's SO hard to do!!