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"...turning down a referral or a child and I was always told that it was looked down on by China"
My understanding is that as long as your concern is medical you can turn down a referral. What makes this case unusual and why some people are disturbed about it was Hannah (now Ying Li again) was already adopted and the adoption was dissolved.
Lydia has severe drug allergies that I was not informed of at referral and I was asked prior to adoption (during the harmonious period) if I was okay with that situation. (Lydia had a near death experience in China when they administered antibiotics to her for pneumonia when she was 2 months old --I knew she had pnemonia and I knew she had almost died, but I didn't know it was the drugs that almost killed her as opposed to the disease itself.) No one mentioned an exchange, but they did check to make sure I wasn't upset about it.
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