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mn125- what a brilliant link you have posted! I read it through and thought it should be essential reading for all parents considering adoption for thier child.It covered the issues thoroughly and honestly without getting inflamatory.
It did stir up my concerns about the US adoption system.That adoption papers can be signed so soon after birth is frightening as I'm not at all convinced that birth mums can be 100% sure of thier decision at that stage.I think the system is often riddled with emotional coercion and can be highly manipulative.Just because it is legal doesn't make it morally right.
I think adoptive parents "befriending" the bmum and being present during the pregnancy is sickening because it is going to make the birth mum feel so guilty if she changes her mind.
I think the baby going into foster care until the mother is sure of her decision is a much better option.Some of the profiles I have read of adoptive parents are so sugar coated and sickly sweet they could almost tempt me to hand over my own kids to be raised by such perfect people.surely nobody, birth parents adoptive parents, whatever can be that perfect?! Its like the models in glossy magazines-a false image that doesn't exist in real life.
Back to the situation being discussed I would wonder whether it is possible for the boyfriend to work toward loving and caring for this child? Or I would still favour the birthdad being able to parent rather than adoption being seen as the solution.the adults in this situation do have a chance to adjust thier expectations and change thier behaviour to provide for this child.This child is on the brink of having thier whole destiny changed and has no choice at all.
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