[princessde72]

I was adopted at birth in 1972 and when I was 21 I found out about the circumstances of my adoption. I was quite frankly put up because of my maternal grandparents. My mother was so controlled by her mother that she couldn't even though she was 20 years old at the time accept my father's marriage proposal. My BMGrandmother was conveinced that her life would be ruined if she kept me before she finished college. She was scared enough of her disapproval that she didn't tell her until she was already 7 months along. She was able to hide it because she was at school 200 miles away. Her sister got mad at her at Easter dinner and told the whole family at the table. Her parents kicked her out of the house when she said she wanted to get married. She then called my father who took her to his parents house.
She moved in there but her mother told her if she didn't put me up for adoption she wouldn't be allowed home again. My Paternal grandparents were against the adoption and even offered to raise me until my parents were out of college. My father fought hard to keep me but he could see this emotional trial was tearing my mother apart and in the end relented and allowed my adoption to take place.
I have a wonderful family and grew up in a nice middle class home with 2 parents that are still married after 39 years. I also have a young also adopted brother from another family who is married and blessed me with 4 nephews.
A few months after my adoption my father was killed in a car accident on the way to visit my mother at her college.
When I met my paternal grandparents the only address they had for my materal family was my mother's grandmother. I wrote to my great grandmother but when the letter was replied to it was from her son my great uncle. Both his parents had passed away but he lived in their house now. He didnt want to give me my mother's address but he said he would forward a letter own to his sister for me. Now his sister is the same woman who didnt want me to begin with and forced her daughter to do something she didnt really want to do. So I wasnt to sure about her being my contact. It took two years and I heard nothing. I wrote to my uncle a few times and he seemed like a really nice guy but he was reluctent to get involved to deep. He lived in a different state (FL) then me (IL) and his sister(TX) so distance is a problem.
After 2 years I gave up hope about hearing from anyone on that side of the family but in 1996 I got a letter from my grandmother who wanted me to call her. So I did we had a nice conversation but said my mother didnt want to me. She said though she thought I seemed like an intelligent sweet girl and she said she would call again. I never heard from her again though. It was hurtful but in 2002 I turned 30 and thought I would try again and I called my uncle who told me she died the next month of a rare blood diesese that killed her in about 6 weeks after diagnoses. I was suprised no one called me but there you go after all I don't think feeling count to much in this family.
I realized that she was calling me because she knew she was dying and if that wasnt the case I never would have heard from her you know one of those clear your conscience kind of things.
I still havent heard from my mother and it is really hard to face the fact I probably never will but I know two things. I had two sets of biological grandparents and I think they both cared about me in different ways. One owned up to their and their childrens mistakes and were willing to make the best of it. The other is to ignore the problem send it away and never speak of it again. The saddest part is I understand both sides of this story and can't blame either one for how my adoption happened.