[aray]

Ok - let's straighten some things out......I am divorced. My ex husband and I have talked about reconciling somewhere down the road........give or take my decision.......but again, this is not an alley we're walking down now, or in the near future. I need to take care of me right now and my children before I would be any good in any relationship. So the thought of giving up this child just so I can go back to my ex husband is not an option. I would NEVER give up a child for a man - never ever!!!!! Me and the bfather live together, yes right now our relationship is shakey due to the fact that we have very different views about our situation, but first and foremost we haven't officially decided anything! and we won't until after our baby is born.

I'm concerned right now about my child's future - and I think (as of right now) that he/she will be better off adopted rather than being raised by dad alone, or going back and forth between us both - on top of our other 2 children (each) going back and forth. Now I am very aware that there is no guarantee that an adoptive family will not get divorced, but at least if that was the worst circumstance it would be between just there 2 parents - not between mom/dad/and siblings, and having to deal with the turmoil in our lives right now.......I just don't think it's fair to the baby......

Would it be best to be raised by your own mom and dad - absolutely!! but under our circumstance the other option has a more promising future for our child. I think you went way to far as to relate our situation or any adopted situation as a kitty being raised by giraffe's, or Tarzan........completley different and I think it insults bmoms/pbmoms/and aparents.

I am very thankful for all of your reply's and concerns for our situation, without this forum and all of you we would be a lot more lost than we already were and are. It's 'nice' to hear all sides, becuase we have to make sure we make a well informed decision, not only for our future but for our child's. We have to be able to look in the mirror everyday and be somewhat content and as much at peace with our decision as one could be. I don't want to look down the road and think to myself I never expolored that alley, or sought out advice from there.